Sock it to me: Convenient stocking stuffers

Originally, the gifts you got in your stocking were your gifts. Period. Either oranges or coal, kid. But now, the stocking is the bonus gift receptacle, the digestif to the main event beneath the tannenbaum. It’s as if someone said, “Well, kids, your presents are all open. And there’s a bunch of paper strewn about the living room. And the eager look of discovery is starting to be erased and replaced by a mien of acceptance. But, wait! There’s still this sock full of stuff!”

That’s why, after 6 p.m. on Dec. 24, your gas station convenience store and supermarket become Christmas central. The ones that are open on Christmas Day are even better for the procrastinator with a few empty socks en route to the family’s house.

Say you’ve got $25 to spend and you want to stuff a stocking. That’ll go a lot farther at the Mobil station than it will at the jewelry store.

Let’s see, here’s some deodorant, because everyone needs another one to store somewhere besides the bathroom.

How about a pound of coffee? It’ll add girth to the sock, and smells much better than a typical sock.

Batteries. Because they may or may not be included with other gifts, but they all die, eventually.

A sleeve of peanuts, some nail clippers, a bottle of craft beer and a pack of gum will round it out nicely. And for the final touch, a few one-dollar scratch tickets.

Altogether, you just got 10 presents for someone you love, and spent about the same amount as you would’ve for an office Secret Santa exchange with someone you might not even like that much.

And if one of those scratch tickets hits big, the next dinner’s on them.